Growing pains

"Growing Up" has proven to be the most humbling and painful experience of my life, and equally as harsh on my parents, yet gratifying for them at the same time. I can't even express all of the gratitude and understanding I have developed for my parents, and in particular my mother. I have always appreciated them both, but as I have gotten older I think I have begun to see my mother's side more.

Having a rather typically frustrating mother-daughter relationship in earlier years, I am pleased that things have changed. Now, I truly enjoy my mom, and better yet, understand her (more). It's amazing, before you move out of the house, little things like mountains of dirty clothes, overflowing waste bins, and warm dinners were provided by this magical fairy. It never even occured to me how the clean clothes were put on my bed, or who finally broke down and put the roll of toliet paper back on the dispenser, it just happened, and clearly it was the magical fairy. Then, I moved away, and for some odd reason the magical fairy didn't follow me. She wasn't there to drag the trashcans to the road on trashday, she wasn't there to run my homework to me when I forgot it on the kitchen table, and she wasn't even there when it was time for clean sheets. Then, I learned that the magical fairy was actually my mother. Who knew?

I recently asked my mother, "Do you feel that most of your life you have been underappreciated?" I think she said "no," but I think she definitely was and still is at times. I guess when the father is the breadwinner, it is easy to see what he does for the family and appreciate his hardwork, even if you can't fully grasp all the hours and effort he puts in for the family. A stay-home mom's job is sometimes more easily overlooked. So, when my stay-at-home mom became a working mom, yet continued to do many of the chores a house-wife would do, I really don't know how she managed it, and I am really proud of her! I have such excellent parents... extremely hard-working, caring, generous, selfless, and loving!

It seems when you finally begin to understand, appreciate and enjoy your parents, it's the same time you have to grow up and start your own life, and leave them. That is my current situation. I know I will miss my parents (and pets) very much in the next months, but at some point I have to grow up and live my own life. I just hope they realize how much I love and appreciate them!

Forfeiting for Fortuity

Tonight as I sat on my couch with a friend and discussed our seemingly chronic singledom, it dawned on me what a blessing it truly is to be single and free. There were so many times in high school I wished for a boyfriend, and several times in college I desperately hoped for a relationship. Now, I can't help but think how different my life would have been if I had met that someone special in college or still attached to a high school sweetheart. I doubt I would have ventured to Budapest for 5 months for my last semester of university, and I guarentee I wouldn't dream of becoming an aupair in the Czech Republic.

Where would my life be instead? It's hard to say exactly, but like a pair of my friends, who were married this weekend, I feel I wouldn't be far behind. It's that not getting married and settling down wouldn't have it's own joys and rewards, but I just feel there is plenty of time for that, as well as having some adeventure. I feel it is just a bit passé, I mean, where's the rush? Perhaps, I can say this because I have never been in a serious relationship, but it's as if people don't realize there are other options. Personally, I can't imagine settling into such a cookie-cutter life. I want to break-free of the southern formula.

College graduation shouldn't be synonymous with wedding. This is a new era where the sky is NOT the limit! There are endless possibilities. I have said it many times; I don't think there is any single or exact way to lead your life, because there are bountiful pathes that can be taken, and none of them necessarily being wrong or right, just different. However, I have witnessed many of my friends' relationships that are filled with complacency and stagnancy continue with complete avoidance of the mutually unhappy situation. It's always the same, the relationship is going nowhere, they have stopped appreciating one another, neither challenge the other or have anything to teach, they have grown apart and developed separate interests, and the romance has long since died, but they remain together. Why?... because they been together for 6 years? It's comfortable, and many times, it's all they have ever known.

I am not sure when it happened, but one day I stopped believing in "the one". Not only is it a depressing idea that of the billions of people on this earth, only ONE is right for you, but trying to find them is a daunting not to mention impossible undertaking. How can anyone be certain they are with "THE ONE"!? Therefore, I believe a number of people who can make you happy, and together you can lead a nice life. It might not be anything specatular, but it's good. Yet if you are lucky and patient enough, maybe you find one of those rare partners who will make your life fantastic!

When I think about how much I have changed since my freshman year of college, and better yet, since high school, it really is astonishing. I truly feel I have matured and grown, and not only that, but my interests have altered entirely. For example, it is said that throughout the course of a person's lifetime, their taste buds and palette undergo significant change. Many people who loved tart and sweet tastes as children prefer more salty and spicy foods as they age. It's not that the taste bud physically and literally changes, but the perception of how things taste does.

I find this interesting and completely relevant on the topic of men and future aspirations people have for themselves. To the people who marry their high school sweethearts, and their marriage endures the years, I must tip my proverbial hat. To find someone who evolves and changes at the same rate, and at the end is still someone you want to be with is quite impressive. Many moons ago, whilst in grade school, I dreamed of becoming a hair stylist. When I was in middle school I wanted to be an architect. In high school, I considered interior design or even graphic design. In college, I majored in photography with a minor in anthropology. When I was ten my favorite colors were purple and teal, and I hated the color yellow. In high school, I prefered the color pink and black, and didn't enjoy red. Now, I love red, yellow, and green along with black and many other colors. The point is, nothing is the same. My likes and dislikes are constantly morphing.

In the end, I felt for so many years that I was missing out on some great chapter of my life by not having a constant boyfriend on my cast list. I felt I was incomplete, and many times I was downtrodden at this void. Now, I see this minor forfeit of a relationship, or perceivably, postponment of one an absolute gift!