Every muscle in my body ached, my head was leaking various fluids, I was truly exhausted, and all I could think about was crawling into the plush hotel bed. Yet I had to wait because our room wasn't ready and the "It will only take 10 minutes to prepare," had turned into an hour. My "cold" had flourished and was ravaging my body. The girls ran about the room, talking louder than any human should, raising hell, and I just collapsed to the floor after 30 minutes of waiting, surrendering to the disgusting unknown elements the carpet contained.
Getting to Asia seems to take FOREVER no matter where you are in the world. So, November 24th, in the early morning, we started our trek east. First, we drove 4 hours to Vienna. From Vienna courtesy of Qatar Airways, we had a five hour flight to Doha, Qatar. We then had a four hour layover in the Doha airport, which had prayer rooms, clearly only for men, seeing as Islam is such a non-sexist religion offering equality. From Doha, we had a seven hour flight to Kuala Lumpur. After arriving in Kuala Lumpur, we had yet another hour drive to the hotel.
I was rather shocked to see how western everything seemed. In the taxi, American pop blurted through the speakers with the familiar sounds of Rihanna's Umbrella, (that girl gets around!) When we arrived at the hotel, I was shocked to see the massive amounts of Christmas decor consuming the entrance, and lights strung along the road leading to the Resort/Mall/Theme and water Park, where only more Christmas ornamentation awaited. Red, blue, green, and yellow lights were everywhere. The marble foyer of the 5-star hotel contained a giant Christmas tree that had a tacky elegance about it with its large pink, gold, and blue balls. Christ in this Muslim country? Cohabitating peacefully? Amazing!
Eventually, our room, which was shared by the grandmother, Fina, and I, was ready, and I was so relieved. I immediately changed into my pajamas, and locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry hardily. At this point, I felt physically miserable, I had no interest in Malaysia, and all I wanted, was to go home, to magically transport to Tennessee. I tried to suck it up, wipe my eyes dry, and as soon as my hand began to turn the doorknob, the tears would erupt once again, and it was all I could do to muffle my sobs in the stark, white hotel towel. All I wanted was my mom and dad. I would like to say I was delirious with fever in order to justify a 22-year-old crying for her parents, but I was fever-free in these moments, simply homesick and literally sick! Clearly, going home wasn't an option, so I opted for sleep.
I felt somewhat better in the next days and managed to go to the theme park with them, and the next day to a giant mall in the heart of the city, that also is connected to the current 2nd tallest building in the world, . The mall was 5 stories of madness, containing every shop imaginable! I despise malls, and was in complete hell. I was "released" on my own to look around, and I nearly cried again at the thoughts of spending the ENTIRE day in this consumer prison. I ended up buying a book, and plopping down on a bench and reading myself out of the mall into the world of fiction.
One of the most interesting things I saw whilst in Kuala Lumpur was at the water park the following day. I have long since stopped believing the "all Asians look alike" theory, considering whoever thinks this has only encountered those two Korean girls in their highschool. Yet, I was still completely ignorant to the vast array of Asian phenotypes! At this water park, I saw every shade of brown, tan, and "yellow" skin. I had no idea so many gorgeous skin colors existed, and I was in awe. Seeing the gamut from some extremely fair Japanese to some nearly black Indians, and every hue in between. It was so lovely, and really enlightened me on the beauty and variation of skin tones inhabiting the earth.
The mall adjacent to our hotel was brimming with America's finest. Including: McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks, TGIF's, Long John Silvers, Auntie Anne's Pretzels, and Tony Roma's and this is just listing the food. The theaters contained mainly American films. Also, thanks to the British and their colonialization efforts, everyone speaks English. If it hadn't been for the overwhelming amount of Asian appearing people and having traveled a million years, I would have thought I was in the middle of America. Globalization is alive and well, and spreading quicker than the clap in a bordello.
After four days, we left Kuala Lumpur and headed to the northern island of Penang, which we were to stay for six days. At this point, my "cold" had transformed into something much more like the flu or similar, and I was once again miserable, and considering jumping off the balcony I felt so wretched. I spent most of the first days in the hotel bed, and the nights coughing endlessly and blowing my nose until it was raw. At one point, my fever spiked, my head was boiling and my body was frigid. Even under the bedcovers, and in a room where the air conditioner was turned off, I was still freezing. I tried to sleep it off but only awoke feeling worse. I eventually dragged myself to the telephone and called the respectionist and asked about the doctor situation. I think it was only after this that the family realized how ill I was and wasn't faking it. Why would anyone waste hookey days during a vacation? You definitely save those for work days!
The last two days in Penang I felt much better and was completely elated at my increase in health! I laid in the sun, took a stroll on the beach, and swam in the crystal blue pools. One day we drove around the entire island, stopping at a butterfly farm, and the remainder of the day was spent driving. This was the first time I got to see a tiny taste of where a typical Malaysian might live and work. Only through the car window, did I see some places that weren't so westernized and tourist accomodated, but it gave me hope and joy to see some Malay culture still in practice.
Around the same time, Josef and the girls, came down with a touch of sickness, which they promptly blamed on the air conditioner. Logically, I could have passed it to them. Better yet, it could be the germ-filled, nose-picking, finger licking, cesspool, eating food off the ground, bacteria friendly children of theirs, doing what kids do best, spreading disease with their disgusting, grubby little hands. BUT NO, it was the air conditioner and that alone. I had this familiar image of their family surrounding an airconditioner, heads cocked, making grunting noises and pointing to this evil invention, then they would start clubbing the device to death in manner of "2001: A Space Odyssey" like the apes and the monolith.
The rest of the trip is not so noteworthy. We traveled back to Kuala Lumpur for a day and a half before heading back to Europe. I had concocted a pathetic plan to get Chai, my friend from Singapore, to K.L. and dreamed of spending the day walking around the giant hotel mall, catching up on the last 5 months of our lives, laughing, drinking coffee, eating pretzels, and reminiscing about our amazing times with gorgeous boys in Budapest. However, it was not to be, and I gravely walked the big mall alone, eager to get back to the Czech Republic, and utterly depressed my stupid plan didn't work out. The flights and travel home were even more exhausting and tiring then going to Malaysia had been. It was awful, but we had a weekend to recover.
In the end, I can't complain too much about a free 15 day excursion to Malaysia, where although sick, I still had amazing food and a very comfortable bed to be sick in. I wish I could have seen more rural, less tourist areas, but I remind myself that someday, when I am paying and making the decisions I can see whatever I want.
I can't deny my dissapointment with this trip. Being trapped in only the most tourist of places. The realization that everything is becoming "western" (the Malaysia I saw was even more western than Czech) and culture seems to be a word that will cease to exist in the next 20 years, breaks my heart.
Another perfect example is the Schengen Agreement here in Europe amongst the EU countries. As of last Friday, December 21st, border control stations were abolished between Czech and all its tangent countries, along with most other EU countries, allowing free, unbridled passing from one country to the next. Shockingly, not getting pretty stamps in my passport is not the most depressing part. Slowly, Europe, the continent seems to becoming Europe, the country. All borders being obliterated and all currency is becoming one, the stealthy Euro. It seems in the next 20 years everyone in Europe will speak English along with their native languages, and who knows, 30 years after that, maybe English will be the only language.
Also, places like Malaysia being so westernized, only confirms my fears. Globalization has made the world a small place, it's mind-boggling. I wonder if in the next 100 years, there will be any corner of the globe that varies from this "western" lifestyle, and cultures will become culture. More and more interracial children will be born and eventually geographic phenotypes will be blurred. The world will once again become locked together, as it was thought to have been some 1.3 million years ago, but NOT by land this time, but by "culture". Our world will be one, massive Cultural Pangea.
