MADRID

I have been in Madrid for 51 days, and I am ready to give my synopsis on  the matter.  There was no way around it, but to say at first I was absolutely disappointed and crestfallen with Madrid.  I have wanted to come to Spain for years now and all my hopes and expectations had grown to perhaps an unreasonable amount. 

All the Spanish people I had met to this point were laid-back, creative, fun, wild, smooth and totally cool, warm, friendly people and the type who really knew how to enjoy life.  I imagined Madrid to be a sunny city filled with such people.  However, this is not what I got.

Where was this laid-back, carefree, lively, passionate Spanish spirit and way of life I had heard so much about? Where was the beautiful Arabic influenced architecture like in Barcelona? Furthermore, where were the gorgeous 6-foot, salsa dancing, football playing, sexy, witty, relaxed, alternative, athletic Spanish men??

Instead, what I got, was a fast paced city that looked like any big city filled with short, not-so-handsome men, who were all apart of the hustle and bustle.  What was going on? Was this some conspiracy against me? Was this some sort of life lesson the universe was teaching me, "You can't have everything you want."  Or was it simply that I didn't research things enough, and came with a pocket of unrealistic expectations.  Probably more the latter. It seems above everything, Madrid is just a big city.  However, it does have really gorgeous parts, especially when the sun is beaming down.

Retiro Parque

Rastro Market on Sundays 

I am very fortunate to have made a bunch of friends already.  It was my 3rd birthday abroad, and for sure the best of the 3.  It really made me feel ''loved'' even if the type of ''love'' that is very surface and new, like that when you really admire a new friend.  I went to a friend's house where all my friends were waiting. I would say there were about 14 people or so.  They made me a cake. 

 

On it, it said, ''Take Care..'' because this has become a running joke of mine.  The mom I live with always tells me to ''take care'' with everything.  For example, I told her I wanted to lose weight and start eating better... big mistake... because now, she is always saying, '' Cynthia, take care with the cheese....'' or '' "Cynthia, take care with the yogurts.  They have high of cholesterol''  Yet, it is not limited to food, anything and everything she worries about, turning the lights off for example, I must ''take care'' and turn them off.  It amused me, and clearly, amused my friends enough for them to start using it as a joke!

 

I stayed out waaay too late, which actually because too early seeing as I arrived home at 8:30 in the morning.  I was a bit worried the mom would be upset, but she was so excited when I told her.  She said this was for sure the Spanish way! I told her I didn´t plan to make a habit of it considering it completely destroyed my Sundays, wasting the day sleeping.

The family is nice, they are. It has been a bit of a challenge adjusting to the Spanish way of doing things and culture.  People are not so polite... and sometimes I feel the Mom orders me around like a 14 year old or a trainee into boot camp or something. I have learned to not take it personal that's just how she rolls. They are extremely knowledgeable about Madrid and how to get what I need.

Another challenge for me has been accepting the job I do and these people's way of life.  I am still not certain if it is the norm or the exception, but the family I work for have a housekeeping lady who comes 6 days a week.  Unlike most of the neighbors' housekeepers, she doesn't live in the house. She is from Paraguay and she is in charge of the cleaning, cooking, laundry and other household tasks.  

The children are in school from 9 A.M. and arrive home around 5:00 P.M.  The mother picks them up from school, and after that, they are with me, and I am taking care of them, helping with homework and studying, playing, showers, and helping with dinner.  

 I am waking up with the kids on Saturday morning, even though they have strict instructions to stay in bed until 9 AM.  My job really is quite easy and I enjoy it.  The kids are well-behaved for the most part and I like the routine.  It's just adhering to this lifestyle.  A lifestyle of dependency and being catered to.  I can't help but find it somewhat ridiculous and spoiled. By working a job like this, I am just condoning, perpetuating this lifestyle, which I don't really respect.

I showed the mother a photo of my parents' house recently.  She asked if growing up we had a housekeeper, and I replied, "Yes, her name was Mommy."  With all sincerity she asked me, "How did your mother manage this house  by herself??"  Almost a sense of envy trickled from her voice, and total confusion.  I had to stop myself from bursting into laughter.  I thought, "What do you mean, 'HOW?" She just... did. Look around, nearly the whole world does it with little help from others!" 

I don't see how Spanish mothers could resent their kids too much because after they pop them out, there is always someone taking care of 75% of the kids needs.  This leaves the mother to do what she wants and not forfeiting her life.  She can still afford time to shop, go to the gym, lunch with friends, etc. She's not really doing much of the childcare nor the cleaning.  On the weekends, the kids are also spending time with their grandmother. 

Yet, I can totally see how Spanish women would resent their husbands.  According to my au pair friends, and what I witness in this house, men are worthless domestically.  They exude their machismo by sitting on their throne (aka the sofa) and refuse to lend a hand because they are the kings of the house.  There is no dirty diaper changing nor bathes given by the average Papí.. oh no, that would cut into their T.V. time.  All that stuff is the women's job or the housekeeper or the grandma... or the au pair. 

Not that I am changing soiled nappies nor does the father here seem quite as useless as some others I hear about.  It still amazes me at how very dependent and helpless they are.  I find it so ironic... being served seems like such an emasculating thing to me, as if one isn't capable of doing such simple tasks on their own, and yet clearly here it portrays their status of alpha male, household tsar, sultan, king!

In some ways I feel like all my disappointment and confusion about Spain and its people is my fault and my fault alone.  Have you ever been interested in someone and you really don't know them, at least nothing worth knowing.  You simply go off the first impression, first conversations, the look of the person.  Then, you sit on your own and you begin to piece their life together, as you see fit.  Creating all of these characterisitics you want them to possess, and eventually you can't recall what you developed and what actually exists.  When that person turns out to not be like the person you concocted them to be, you can't help but be a little bit brokenhearted, even if it was your own silly fault.  That is how I feel about Madrid.  I projected what I wanted it to be, and didn't even try to see the reality of how it really is.

So, overall, I am content here and after I accepted that it's not what I expected, I have enjoyed myself.    I go to Spanish class occasionally, but will start going everyday.  I can't wait for the weather to be fantastic again, and go out with my friends and have picnics in the park.  I would also like to meet some new friends, in particular, Spanish ones!  Hopefully, this is a sufficient update for now.