For Lance :-)

It dawned on me this weekend that it has been 1 year and 1 week since I arrived in Budapest.  It's amazing how time goes so quickly, and memories become fainter and some even fade entirely. Tonight I was particularly reminded of some of the not fantastic times I had in BP, especially those first few days. 

I just read my friend Lance's blog.  He is studying Poland this semester and just arrived this past weekend.  My heart broke for him as I read about the difficulties mentally, physically, and emotionally he is facing.  It made me recall my first few days in Budapest, and being in such a similar situation; sick, sad beyond words, disappointed and ready to catch the next flight home.  I know too well the feeling of holding back tears while talking to your parents on the phone, and desperately questioning why I had chosen to do a study abroad away from everything I knew and loved. 

Originally, I was going to write Lance an email of encouragement and advice, but then, I started thinking. If Lance is experiencing exactly what I experienced, than surely, many people who go on exchange experience the exact same problems. We are not alone, I know this for certain.  So, I decided to make Lance's note of inspiration public.

Dear Lance,

I know what you are going through, I truly do.  My first two days, I was so broken down and disillusioned that all I could imagine doing was going home, and it was all I could muster to get out of bed.  I remember burying my face deep in the hostel pillow to cry, sob more like,  trying not to wake up my roommate. Later, I talked to my parents, painfully holding back the tears (that strange knotty pain in the back of the throat when trying not to cry? You know this pain?) and wanting to book a flight home the next day.  I had that wretched feeling of desperation and disappointment.  I thought as you did, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" 

Within three days, my opinion was already starting to change.  I saw more of the city, I started to meet people, and I wasn't perpetually lost.  I magically began enjoying myself and within a week, I was loving it.  In fact, I bet you are already starting to enjoy yourself more by the time you read this! There will be moments throughout the semester where you miss everything at home, but that's natural.  Mainly, you will wish the semester could last forever! Hang in the there, the worst part is over!

Some last advice:

- Push yourself to be extra social.  For the first few weeks, go out even in times you rather stay in and rest or be alone.  Make your face seen and name heard, this way everyone will remember to always call you and let you know the plans (even if you choose not to participate you will still feel in the loop)! Also, get a phone as soon as possible and start gathering people's numbers.  Friends will be crucial to make this experience all it can be, and help you through those moments you miss home. Plus, the people you get lost with in foreign countries, laugh with on long train trips and create endless memories.

-Travel soon and travel often.  The biggest challenge of traveling is deciding you are going to do it, not just theoretical plans.  After you do it once, you will gain the confidence you need to do it whenever you want.  So, travel early this way you don't procrastinate and end up in April having only seen a few things you wanted, or worse get home to the U.S. and lament all the places you missed seeing.  

-Take more photographs than seems necessary. Try and bring your camera where ever you go and don't be deterred by people's stares when you photograph a trash can, if that's your desire.  Photograph anything and everything, even the little details .  It seems silly but otherwise you go home and think, "Why didn't I photograph that restaurant I ate at every week? Or the bridge I crossed every day!?"  

- Lastly, expect setbacks and plans to go awry, it is absolutely certain to happen.  You will experience many frustrating (small and large) obstacles and misfortunes, especially while traveling.  Don't be timid to ask questions or to use all of your resources.  Never feel stupid for double checking, triple checking, and have no regard for the workers in the information center that you might be annoying.  It's their job to help! 

Lance, you are in for a treat! I know it is hard to see past the tough start you have had, but things will get better!  My motto is, "All great and rewarding adventures begin and end with a hearty cry."  I hope by the time you read this you will be feeling 110% better about your situation! 

And for anyone else studying abroad, know that it will be the absolute time of your life, but you do have to put some effort into it. You can't expect everything and everyone to place all the opportunities in your lap.  You must seek them out, and be diligent! You can make life long friendships and memories, and that makes all the effort more than worth it!